thank you Indra, good point.

As far as resiloutions go I have not been all to good at keeping them....I started the year with drinking gallons of water, waking up early and anticipating school, going to bed relatively early and minamizing my consumption of beer....not that those were my only one but still those were a few of them. I admit it, I am weak...I like staying up late and drinking everything else under the sun instead of water.....and my mind has been wondering away from physiology to exotic places with a warm sun and dreamy white beaches...but then gravity pulls me back to Iceland and I slam into the ground full force, forcefully drinking water and frugally saving money...

i opened a thing at myspace the other day but havent set it up, i just went to check up on people but so is this like the biggest thing in LA or something? everybody seems to have one. so i am working on getting a resumé up and running and we will see if it works...

on that matter, I have been thinking about taking a class in creative writing in NYU next summer....I have about a zillion ideas floating around for next summer but thats one of them, please feel free to give me advice...i need it.

on a happier and less confusing note, I am experiencing a drowning sensation at school and I have finally given up on men in any form shape or matter, i think the song how bizarre sums these nocturanal unmonogamist creatures correctly.

how long do you think u could live without working granted you have minimum money to live off of? i think i could go for at least 3 years and in that time I would write a couple of books and maybe even finish reading all the ones I want to....i mean i think it would be quite nice, I would just go to some little island where the weather is nice and stay there and relax and just zone out and on my return home I would publish my books and everybody would love them and the would be the best selling christmas book around.....i would get a book deal in New York and I could just fly between there and LA, writing books and tv drama series, semi based on my own life.... sorry the thought process got ahead of my there..... but think about it...

waiting for a text is a meaningless as looking for a answer in a Pauly Shore movie, I need a makeover, a makeover of my mind and soul. I started a soul makeover last week but that went as well as Rosanne having a lipo, as soon as a little handsome devil comes strolling around the corner I say fuck my makeover and go for the little bugger. which offcourse lands me here and I go around in circles thinking about him, me , us, future, past and watch every episode of S A T C for refrence and possibly guidance.... Carrie drew me to the conclusion that there is no conclusion, you just have to go for it until your body and soul are drained and your are left a mere shadow of your former self with a little heart thats shattered into a million pieces but on the upside, you lost weight. I mean, everybody deserves a second chance as long as your heart gives the okay, right? I think its about dating karma, if I give a guy that is a freakin tasmanian devil a second chance to see that maybe theres something good in him, I will be given a second chance by the guy that sees me as a rambling lunatic with at least half a dozen personalities..

or maybe there is just one chance, make it or brake it. the other stuff is just complicating things and procrastinating the unevitable brake up....i dunno, I am putting way to much pressure on these things and just go with the flow...... Well I was doing just that until last week, two evil male tried to play Cinderella on me and get me to swallow there apple.... This Cinderella has woken up and spit out that apple, all by herself!
its going to be me myself and I again and fuck those arrogant son of***** that think that when they say bend over I smile, no way bobby.

after all that venting of bitterness I leave you for now my loves .....

not so much burned as scarred and undecided....

sigga dögg